


Stupid Elf

by glittergoth



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Again, Angst, Gen, Glanni is mean to everyone involved, Kinda, Smoking, suicide threat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 01:23:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14009121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glittergoth/pseuds/glittergoth
Summary: Glanni is very paranoid about Ithro post GGIL. The Mayhemtown Gang thinks it's funny and Ithro has no clue that Glanni is so upset.





	Stupid Elf

“C’mon, just one,” Glanni pleaded, “I’ll even _pay_ you. For the love of shit, give me a cigarette. Look, here’s a fucking dollar. That’s twice as much as that cheap brand is worth.” 

 

Muggur let out a muffled snort. “Sorry Glanni, no can do. If they’re so cheap and tasteless why not buy something else and leave me alone?” 

 

“Yeah Glanni, didn’t you make fun of us for being smokers anyways?” Kjartan jeered nasally. “Something about being too slow for your tastes? Too stupid to be an adept criminal like you?”

 

“I TOLD you, I’m not going back out there!” Glanni paced back and forth in the dingy building. “And the lot of you ARE stupid, for the record. It was just shitty luck that an ELF had to show up and ruin everything.” 

 

The Mayhemtown Gang burst into laughter. “Look, we get it, you don’t like failure, but why do you care so much about it this time? You know, we’re _all_ bottomfeeders. It’s really not so depressing if you accept it and get back on the streets.” 

 

“Get back on the streets? With WHAT? My Rikki disguise is _ruined_ , the _brats_ have _my_ hat. Not that any of you would understand the importance of having a full disguise anyways!” Glanni spat. “And he’d see right through it if I _could_ use it!”

 

“Oh my god, stop with the elf shit. As if any _hidden_ folk would come out of _hiding_ to pursue you of all people.” Kjartan groaned. 

 

“Yeah, you really need to find a better excuse than that, elves are just folklore. Everyone knows that.” Jói added.

 

Glanni recoiled for a second, the gang seemingly having struck a nerve, but rebounded with a furious snarl on his face. “You STILL don’t believe me?!” Glanni snapped as he slammed his fists down with a crack on the shabby table, collapsing the card tower the gang had painstakingly build in an attempt to shut out Glanni’s whining. 

 

“Hey!” Protested Kjartan. “We worked really hard on that!”

 

“Are you even listening? He’s everywhere!” Glanni began to hysterically flail his arms. “I saw him at the convenience store-“

 

“You saw an old man with an orange sweater,” corrected Jói.

 

“- and he’s still trying to get me! STILL! I haven’t committed a crime in months!” Glanni wailed. “And I am stressed and I need to stay sharp so give! Me! A! Cigarette!” He hissed and lunged for the pack, twisting it and ripping it from his hand, tearing it in the process and spilling them all over the table and floor. Glanni quickly dropped to the floor and began picking them up one by one while the Gang stared slack jawed. Snatching up the final few from the table, he triumphantly marched up the stairs while muttering to himself. 

 

“Hoooly shit, Glanni.” breathed Kjartan. 

 

The trio exchanged wide eyed stares for a few moments then rose into a cacophony of guffaws. “He’s lost it,” he wheezed.

 

“Definitely,” concurred Muggur. “He’s lucky we’re letting him stay here.” 

 

“Absolutely!” Jói chimes in. “Damn near pissed off every other connection he has with his ‘elf’ blabbering.” 

 

They let out another round of chuckles. 

 

“So, build it again and place bets on how long it takes till he knocks it down again?” Kjartan suggested. 

 

—

 

Glanni sat atop the edge of the roof above the door to the fourth floor, half lidded and peering out at the city’s rooftops. 

 

“I _will_ see him _,”_ he growled, “I’ll see him coming, and then I’ll make those goons see him, and then I’ll get the fuck out of here before he sees _me_.”

 

Fumbling with a nearly empty electric lighter, he took a shaky drag. Exhaling a soft cloud, Glanni leaned into his palm. 

 

_How long has it been since I last slept?_

 

Impossible to calculate. He didn’t know if it was today or past midnight already, not that it really mattered because he had no clue what day of the week it was. Rubbing his eyes swollen with exhaustion, he tried to count nights. 

 

“Yesterday was Monday-Tuesday so today is Tuesday-Wednesday... or just Tuesday... I think I slept Saturday? I’ve seen the moon 3 times since then but I don’t know how LONG I was asleep- wait, what the fuck?” 

 

Glanni jerked up to watch a dark grey van tear down the street, tires screeching. 

 

“That looks like the Mayhemtown Gang’s van.” He commented spiritedlessly. His mind wandered away for several moments, then suddenly rewound. Why would the gang be in a hurry about literally anything? They never show up on time to be paid but they sure run when there’s _trouble_ -

 

The door beneath him swung open with an angry smack. 

 

“Hallo Glanni!” Ithro cheered below him.

 

Glanni attempted to jump off where he was perched in a blind panic, but caught his foot on the edge and toppled straight into Ithro’s arms. 

 

Ithro chuckled. “You should really be more careful!” His eyes panned down to the cigarette still in Glanni’s fingers. “… And smoking is awful for your health! Maybe you could put that out.”

 

Glanni growled. “You should _really_ put me _down,_ ” he spat, “and I could _die_ tomorrow and not give a shit, but if you insist.” Glanni rammed his cigarette straight into Ithro’s leather armor with a sizzling noise and a thin line of smoke.

 

Shocked, Ithro tried to set Glanni down on his feet, but because of Glanni’s insistent catlike wriggling, the remainder of the now snuffed out cigarette snapped at the filter and Glanni dropped onto his hands and knees with a thud. 

 

“Shit!” Ithro whispered in panic, running his fingers over the round scorch mark.

 

“FUCK!” Glanni dragged himself onto one knee, wincing. “What the FUCK! Some hero you are, trying to break my kneecaps!”

 

Ithro’s eyes darted up, bewildered. “Glanni,” he started, gritting his teeth, “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t _trying_ to drop you. Unlike you trying to burn me. I understand that gratitude doesn’t come naturally to you, but it took the people in my village a long time to craft this, and I _just_ saved you from splitting your head open on concrete-“

 

“I’d rather split my head open than spend one more second with you!” He growled. “You’re here to take me back to jail, AGAIN, and I’m sick of it!”

 

Ithro was fighting to keep his voice level. “Well, I was here to talk to you-“

 

“ _Bullshit_!”

 

“But-“ Ithro raised his voice, “-you poisoned an entire town. you left 2 girls to starve in a disgusting sewer, and put the rest of the children in an inhumane labor factory, for starters. That’s more than enough reason to serve a full sentence. Even the worst criminals I’ve dealt with have admitted they deserved punishment.”

 

Glanni rolled his eyes and shifted his weight onto his left leg. “Oh sure, I deserve it. But I don’t _want_ to serve a punishment. How am I supposed to make money from a cell in a humble little fitness town in the middle of fucking no where?”

 

“So is that it? You don’t have any remorse? You really don’t give a shit?” Ithro squinted at him, stepping forward. 

 

Glanni’s face contorted into an expression between repulsion and fear; which emotion was dominant was undecipherable. “I walked out on my cousin on Christmas and made him cry. If you expect me to care about your little demons you’re out of your mind.”

 

“And you’re proud of that?” Ithro asked incredulously. “I haven’t seen my brother in months. Because I can’t. Because being heroes makes us both obligated, and I wish we could take breaks more often or at the same time, in the very least. I would give a lot to see my family but people- people like you- keep us busy. Keep us from being happy because you take it upon yourself to make everyone you come in contact with unsafe!”

 

“Proud of it?! Who said I’m proud?” Glanni shrieked.

 

“Well you did use it as an example about 40 seconds ago!” Ithro finally snapped. “Who would go around _bragging_ about making their cousin cry on Christmas if they weren’t proud-“

 

“You don’t know me!” Glanni scrambled backwards, reaching blindly with his hands until he grasped the edge of the building. “I don’t _want_ you to know me. I just want _peace_.”

 

“You know I can’t do that!” Ithro dragged his hands down his face exasperatedly. “I was hoping that you’d be remorseful.. or something.. but like this, I can’t just leave you to…” Ithro trailed off. “… Glanni?” He croaked nervously. “Are you crying?” 

 

“I’m not going back to jail.” Glanni was crouched up on the cornice, his heels hanging off the back. “If you don’t leave I’m jumping.” 

 

Ithro stood frozen for a moment, his thoughts having crashed to a complete halt. He took a tentative step closer. “Glanni-“

 

“ _Don’t_.” Streaks on Glanni’s face barely glowed in the pale moonlight. His eyes glistened, fixated on Ithro with his chin tilted downwards. “Just leave.”

 

“Okay.” Ithro swallowed. “Okay, I’ll leave. Just let me give you what I came here for.” 

 

Glanni recoiled slightly as Ithro unzipped an orange knapsack, but his eyes widened as Ithro carefully drew a glittery, pink hat out and placed it on the roof. “I’m sorry Glanni- I really didn’t- I’ll go now.”

 

As the door swung shut and Ithro disappeared, Glanni relaxed his wings. Glamoured, of course, but he hadn’t been entirely sure that the elf was _unaware_ he’s fae at this point, which made his bluff all the more risky. 

 

Dropping to his knees and wiping his face on his sleeve, _disgusting_ , he gingerly picked up his hat. 

 

“You chased me for months just to give me my hat?” He chuckled, eyes twinkling, yet his mouth and eyebrows curved with perplexion.

 

“What a stupid elf.”

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaa... More angst from me... I promise I'll write something happy someday. Also Festering isn't abandoned.. It's just a slow chapter and uni is hell. I'm finally on spring break so MAYBE I'll get something done.


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